Friday, November 05, 2004
Chapter Four
Xodiac was dreaming that she was lying on a balcony next to her one true love. He was telling her a story that was terribly funny and terribly wise all at the same time. She felt entirely happy, free and safe. Part of her wanted to turn and look at this man and see what he looked like and part of her was afraid to do anything that might make him vanish. She had a very strong sense that he wanted to stay but some force might come drag him away at any moment.
He reached over and took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. A shiver ran through her and she turned to him, not caring what happened next and then a loud roaring sound came out of nowhere and the balcony started to shake. Earthquake she thought and then her eyes snapped open and she was staring into the unshaven face of some angry guy she didn’t know who was telling her to get out. In her panic and confusion she flailed at him and socked him in the ear. He grabbed her wrist and scowled at her.
“What the hell is wrong with you? First you want me to get in bed with you and then you hit me. You’re some screwed up, crazy chick!”
“I’m not,” she protested. “I’m not crazy and I’m not a chick.”
“Sure you’re crazy, totally loony tunes. Are you trying to tell me you’re a guy under that nightie? You sure don’t look it.”
“I’m a woman, not a chick. Who asked you to look anyway? I mean what the hell are you doing in here? Get out or I scream. Oh forget that, I’m screaming.” She let out a scream that should have brought everyone from within five miles.
“Oh that’s good. You must watch a lot of B movies. Very nice. Now get out of my room, I’m tired and I’ve had a hard day.” He shucked his shirt and threw it at her. She shrieked again and threw it back.
“Ewww, don’t you throw your nasty smelly sweaty things at me.” She took a deep breath and rallied. “This is my room, your day can’t possibly have been as hard as mine and, and, and, I don’t have to explain to you, get out!”
The door opened and Carl and Luci came in. Carl laughed. “I see you’ve met Clyde. This is rich. How’d you get his shirt off so fast Xodiac? For that matter why did you scream? You’ve got him right where you want him.”
“I do not! I want him in the Afghanistan! He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met! What exactly is he doing in my room?”
“Oops sorry,” said Luci. “I forgot he was moving in tonight. What with all the excitement and everything. Clyde, an angry fat girl shot up Xodiac’s apartment after she said she had a fat ass.”
Clyde looked at Xodiac with interest. “You don’t look like you have a fat ass. Stand up.”
“Shut up! I don’t have a fat ass. That’s not really what happened. There were these two guys that were going to kill me but they didn’t like their names and then oh forget it. I’m sleeping on the couch.” She grabbed her pillow and blanket and exited with great dignity.
Clyde laughed. “Don’t forget your teddy bear.” He threw it so it hit her in the back of the head. She turned around and threw her pillow at him.
“All right kids, that’s enough for the night. Come on Clyde, the couch has your name on it. Go back to bed Xod and we’ll work something out tomorrow.” Carl pushed Clyde out of the room, waiting until Luci had left and winked at Xodiac. “Don’t worry, the door does lock.”
“Oh like that’s stopped anyone tonight! I feel real safe, not.” She threw herself back on the bed and clutched her bear. She could hear them all talking in the living room and for a moment she felt left out.
He reached over and took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. A shiver ran through her and she turned to him, not caring what happened next and then a loud roaring sound came out of nowhere and the balcony started to shake. Earthquake she thought and then her eyes snapped open and she was staring into the unshaven face of some angry guy she didn’t know who was telling her to get out. In her panic and confusion she flailed at him and socked him in the ear. He grabbed her wrist and scowled at her.
“What the hell is wrong with you? First you want me to get in bed with you and then you hit me. You’re some screwed up, crazy chick!”
“I’m not,” she protested. “I’m not crazy and I’m not a chick.”
“Sure you’re crazy, totally loony tunes. Are you trying to tell me you’re a guy under that nightie? You sure don’t look it.”
“I’m a woman, not a chick. Who asked you to look anyway? I mean what the hell are you doing in here? Get out or I scream. Oh forget that, I’m screaming.” She let out a scream that should have brought everyone from within five miles.
“Oh that’s good. You must watch a lot of B movies. Very nice. Now get out of my room, I’m tired and I’ve had a hard day.” He shucked his shirt and threw it at her. She shrieked again and threw it back.
“Ewww, don’t you throw your nasty smelly sweaty things at me.” She took a deep breath and rallied. “This is my room, your day can’t possibly have been as hard as mine and, and, and, I don’t have to explain to you, get out!”
The door opened and Carl and Luci came in. Carl laughed. “I see you’ve met Clyde. This is rich. How’d you get his shirt off so fast Xodiac? For that matter why did you scream? You’ve got him right where you want him.”
“I do not! I want him in the Afghanistan! He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met! What exactly is he doing in my room?”
“Oops sorry,” said Luci. “I forgot he was moving in tonight. What with all the excitement and everything. Clyde, an angry fat girl shot up Xodiac’s apartment after she said she had a fat ass.”
Clyde looked at Xodiac with interest. “You don’t look like you have a fat ass. Stand up.”
“Shut up! I don’t have a fat ass. That’s not really what happened. There were these two guys that were going to kill me but they didn’t like their names and then oh forget it. I’m sleeping on the couch.” She grabbed her pillow and blanket and exited with great dignity.
Clyde laughed. “Don’t forget your teddy bear.” He threw it so it hit her in the back of the head. She turned around and threw her pillow at him.
“All right kids, that’s enough for the night. Come on Clyde, the couch has your name on it. Go back to bed Xod and we’ll work something out tomorrow.” Carl pushed Clyde out of the room, waiting until Luci had left and winked at Xodiac. “Don’t worry, the door does lock.”
“Oh like that’s stopped anyone tonight! I feel real safe, not.” She threw herself back on the bed and clutched her bear. She could hear them all talking in the living room and for a moment she felt left out.
